Wednesday, 9 March 2016

6th Grade Dilemma

Being on the last year of high school, as I am, means so many things, but mostly preparing for change and stress. A lot of stress.
Whether you are an average grade student, a low one or a high one, you'll get what I'm saying.
Choosing your career and Uni, admission exams, waiting for responses, asking for scholarships.
Everything suddenly becomes so real it is hard to handle. Today, actually, I'll hopefully get a response to a Uni I applied for.
Anyways, I'd like to focus on the "real" factor. Suddenly, every decision you make seems to have a huge consequence.
For example, my daily thoughts are: What if I don't like Psychology? What if I can't pay school? What if I lose my scholarship? What if the Uni doesn't accept me? 
And so many more I don't even want to think about.

 However, today I was having a conversation with my boyfriend, who is worried he might not get a Uni this year.
I explained this to him and would like to keep it noted down just in case well... just in case I feel this.
You have three options: going to Uni, working, or taking a year off (or less). It doesn't matter what your decision is as long as you long for it and take advantage of it.
For example, a year off for some might be a bit extreme, but I believe that if you take this year as a "preparing for life" time, you'll be using it. Travel, meet people, try new things: make every day useful.
It's the same with going to Uni. If you're not prepered, and you'd rather not go: you're going to fail. Big time.
Always put your whole heart in everything you do. Love it.

Monday, 7 March 2016

Small Boobed Insecurities

Somewhat a week ago my boyfriend told me about his preference of bigger boobs. He literally told me "I think I like boobs a little bit bigger, not like huge, but natural."
Thinking about it, what the hell is natural? This is natural.
Anyways, it hurt me deep, and it is unnecessary to say that my self esteem went from the skies to hell, in less than a day.
I must admit that for about a year I've based my self esteem on whatever he tells me. Before knowing him I had bad depression issues, and now, even though I thought I had overgrown them... I discovered I haven't.
And yes, all of this is about the amount of fat on my chest.
Some may think I'm exaggerating, however: I'm not.
Anyone who has self esteem issues will understand me, whether it is about a scar, or teeth, or even a fingernail... everything is big. And no, you don't have to feel guilty for feeling things about your body, or making a huge mess about a little thing. If it affects you, it is important, no matter what anyone else says.
Back to the thing, I've been looking all around literally the same question: "how to accept my small boobs?" What.
I mean, it's obvious the fact that I haven't found anything that makes me say "WOWIE, BOY. YES TO SMALL BOOBS." (without considering those beautiful pictures of beautiful women who actually look gorgeous with small boobs. Dayum, those girls.)
I'm still working on it, and I hope someday (hopefully soon), I'll be able to say again how much my boobies make me happy.
So far, I believe they're useful (or at least they're not a pain in the back), so that's that.
Hopefully sooner rather than later, there'll be a post about my love for small boobs and how I'm glad my body decided to not archive fat on the "right" places.
Till that, the Boobie Journey follows on, and more discoverings will be recorded.
Have a good night.
Sol.